Emerald Claw Pathfinder

A ton of shit has happened. Or episode 9 through... I dunno at least 20.

Kidnapping, grave robbing, treasure hunting, war crimes, more war crimes, and a lot of murder. I mean a fucking ton of murder.

The reluctant Byron led our intrepid heroes deep into the forest towards Parenal’s Den? Glade? Yurt? The heroes found the Fey trash, killed him and retrieved the documents they were looking for. Artyom then turned the nature loving fey hippie into a skeletal archer and decided to wear his strangely light and comfortable armor. After some looting and tormenting of Byron, our heroes made the trek back to Karrnath.

Upon returning to Vedykar, Lukas gave Alexander the documents proving that Sergeant Stoletov was just following orders. Later Alexander explained that Sergeant Stoletov needed to be found guilty in order for him to become some kind of unique undead. Artyom was a bit torn between his patriotism and his love for necromancy. His love of necromancy eventually won out and he decided that Stoletov needed to be executed for “the greater good.”

Lukas was then tasked with the defense of Sergeant Stoletov as a “war criminal,” and Stoletov was sentenced to death by public drowning. The group went to the public executions after Artyom made some comments about Lhazaarians being a “bunch of barbaric savages.” During the execution some “comedians” by the name FUCKED TO DEATH BY OTYUGHS… <cough> I mean Rebo and Zootie made a mockery of the whole thing by adding a “comedic” wah-wah at the moment of Stoletov’s death. Assholes raw, the group headed back to Vedykar.

After a little rest, Alexander contacted the group and tasked them with stealing Stoletov’s drowned corpse to let Artyom do what he does best. The group then headed back to Thrane.

They then gathered as much information as they could about the transportation of Stoletov’s corpse and headed to a small fishing village in the northern part of Aundair to intercept the transport. After some bribes and the healing of a child’s blindness in order to curry favor with one of the village’s captains, they decided the best way to acquire the corpse was to kill everyone on the boat and fake a sinking. After a fight on the ship called “The Blue Wyvern” (against a blue wyvern), they acquired the corpse. Artyom then turned the ships’ crew into a literal skeleton crew and had them sail out a few miles so VU could turn it into a fucked to death pile of burning caca. He did.

Artyom then gave Stoletov’s corpse to Alexander and was asked to use an open ended scroll of Create Undead on the corpse. Artyom did so and Stoletov became something unique and interesting. Artyom did a bit of studying and then our heroes decided it was time to try their hands at some treasure hunting.

The group ended up going to a forbidden or cursed or whatever forest where they found a strange prismatic door pouring out waves of raw arcane energy corrupting and or killing everything around it. After Nikolai almost dying and a scuffle with the indigenous wildlife, the group decided to leave with the only loot they found: some displacer beast corpses they had made the “Shard of Darkness”. and the “Blasphemer’s Gauntlets”.

The group then decided it was time to hunt down Mr. Skrimshaw. A bit of detective work and some scrying resulted in the success in finding the turd’s location, and VU was sent in to liberate him. Artyom and VU then tortured, belittled and forced him to accompany them in their next endeavor in order for him to become strong enough to turn into an intelligent undead. A treasure hunting trip to beautiful monster infested Droam commenced.

In Droam, our “Just” “Adventurers” spoke with some shit covered savage ogres and trolls then headed south to the Droamish swamps where an ancient temple of Vol was rumored to be. The temple was eventually discovered after what seemed to be ages of marching through sticky, stinky, foul muck. Unfortunately, the temple was occupied by some ogres that needed to be murdered and looted of their corpses and valuables. Artyom made some undead out of the corpses, and they gave the temple a thorough searching.

A cave heading deeper underground was found, and they decided to explore the bowels of what may have been Khyber. Our heroes fought some creatures and a monstrous humanoid abomination made out of stone and had to retreat. Byron unfortunately didn’t make it. Skrimshaw then started to complain and whine about the situation and VU decided it was good to ruin him with excessive abuse and torture. Artyom, still butt-hurt about the defeat, took his aggression out on Skrimshaw, cutting his throat and reprimanding VU. VU was less than pleased with the situation. After some group therapy and the creation of a powerful undead made from the corpse of a Dispalcer Beast matron, the anus-sore adventurers gave the stone monstrosity another go and succeeded.

Lukas then decided to scry on one of the black shards they found in the temple and found the whereabouts of an Ogre Magi. The group hunted down said ogre, killed him and his friends, and took their stuff. Artyom found some necromantic journals and a large black orb about one foot in diameter with a powerful necromantic aura on it. While Lukas was digging through ogre shit and other refuse for scraps of shit covered paper, Artyom examined the orb and found out it was called the “Mouth of Shadow” a very old necromantic artifact that empowered undead upon their creation. The group decided it was time to get the hell out of the disgusting swamp and head back to civilization.

Before they could leave, they were attacked by a Half-Dragon and his thralls. Fucking goody goody adventurers always fucking up the show. The dragonman was dispatched and the group made friends with a lightning throwing half-orc named Brask. The group then made their way to civilization, and Artyom decided that the giant skeletal beast he made was too conspicuous and let it go into the wild. Upon reacing the Eldeen border, they encountered boarder guards who made Artyom get rid of his wonderful Skeletal Steeds before letting them pass. Artyom reluctantly obliged them, and the group was on its way without further incident. They got out of Eldeen as fast as they could and made their way to Sharn for a bit of rest and relaxation.

Upon entering Sharn they found out that the war had started up again in their short absence. The group was then approached by a person having people sign a petition against a Church of Vol located in the cogs. Most of the group signed the document and Artyom followed the piece of shit into an ally where he pumped him full of necromantic energy and removed all flesh from his corpse before stuffing his bones into a bag of holding. The group later used shrink item and a mortar and pestle to dispose of the body. Artyom then decided he wanted to visit said Church of Vol, and they listened to a nice sermon. Afterwords, Artyom had a nice chat with the priest, and decided that he wanted to give a sermon to the people attending the church. After Artyom’s sermon, the priest told him of the previous priest Gath and that there was an old sanctum where Gath use to bind demons and research necromancy. Intrigued, Artyom spoke with the group and they decided it was worth investigating.

Upon entering Gath’s sanctum they were attacked by some demons and devils which they dispatched with some effort. After some careful searching they locate some books about binding demons, devils and elementals into magically gifted individuals through some ritual scarring along with some research describing how to bind things called hollow and creating a fel-blood necropolitan. Artyom and Lukas decided to take some time researching the necromantic books they found and Caspar decided to take a walk.

During Caspar’s walk, he came across a mugging where he decided to mug the muggers. Afterwords, the mugee took Caspar for a paladin and asked him to help rid his village of a vampire that had been plaguing them. The benevolent being he was, Caspar agreed. Caspar then told his band of fellow heroes about the vampire issue and Artyom insisted that they rid the world of that foul abomination for painfully esoteric religious reasons.

Our heroes then traveled to a small village to meet with the bumpkins with the vampire problem. They explained that the vampire is the lord of the town and he has plagued them for decades. They came to terms, and the group went to meet with said vampire. Through some “diplomacy,” they found out that the vampire was just a guy pretending to be a vampire in order to discourage rebellion and obfuscate his inability to keep his townsfolk safe from some wandering aberrations in a nearby cave. The manpire then offered the adventurers some money, corpses, and the location of a dragon corpse as payment to rid the cave of monsters as well as their silence about his non-vampirism.

The group agreed and the cave was cleared with little effort. After they received their payment the group decided it was time to let the village know that the lord was a hoax. The townsfolk then tried to poison the group with a sedative in order to rid them of their “vampiric enthrallment.” Brask decided it was hilarious and continued to drink the sedative-laced drink, eventually passing out. Artyom then may have overreacted a bit by killing everyone in the village along with the lord and everyone in his estate. The group then covered it up as much as they could by dressing some soldiers up as Thraneish templar and leaving a dead shifter to be found.

Upon returning to Vedykar, Artyom turned one of his more insolent intelligent undead into a statue and released the other into the Mournlands. Alexander then got in touch with Artyom and tasked them with starting some conflict between Valanar and Q’barra in order to release some of the tension Valanar was putting on Karrnath. The group agreed and decided to head out in a few days.

Artyom and Lukas then bound some outsiders to the various magically-inclined members of the group, and they then set out for Q’barra via lightning rail and then Dwarvish train. Upon reaching Q’barra, some mercenaries were hired and Lukas did some reconnaissance using his magic and clever disguises. The group then made their way south to a Valanar-controlled bridge on the Valanar/Q’barra border where they killed everyone including the mercenaries. They then took some time removing the ears of the elves and desecrating corpses to make it look like a Q’barran raid before they left to go back to Wyrmwatch. They then planted the captains ancestral armor and weapon (along with a necklace of elven ears) in the lizardman captain’s shack. The Valanar showed up soon after, resulting in the death of the lizardman captain. They then stormed out with their noses up in the air. The group decided that was enough/hoped that it was enough and headed off back to Vedykar.


boopythegreat alltair111

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